The longer you're single, the longer
the list of expectations for your future spouse. In this particular
instance I'm referring to the list that others make for you, rather
than the list you make for yourself. To be quite honest, I think as I
get older MY list gets shorter. I'm less afraid of ending up with
someone who has different taste in music or movies than when I was
at 16. Ha. I realize common ground is important, but where you have
that common ground is slightly deeper than one's like or dislike of
Leonardo DiCaprio. Dislike, btw.
I'm more sure of what I'm looking for,
and what I can live with than ever before. However the outside
pressure I receive from a dedicated parade of family and friends who
desperately want to see me happy is often a daunting one. Just last
evening I was sharing with a couple of my married friends about a
blind date I'll be going on soon. Rather excited to have the
opportunity to meet someone new and perhaps a chance at romance, I
showed them a picture of my potential Romeo on fb. Yes, I know I just
called it a blind date, and I suppose by traditional standards,
seeing a picture isn't exactly blind. Stalking them on fb provides
even more personal info than most friends would give you, but this is
the new norm. I hardly think true “blind” dates exist anymore.
Unless it takes place with someone who is visually impaired, it's a
form of dating that is basically extinct. I think the term is used
more now to clarify that this is a date with a person that you have
never met and it has been suggested by a mutual friend that you are
compatible. In this case, our mutual friend knows him a lot more than
she knows me, so I'm not sure how confident I am in the match, but
I'm willing at this stage to give it a shot.
So, there I was showing my friends his
picture and telling them what information I had gathered from his fb
page, such as his membership in a jazz orchestra which is a very good
start! The motorcycle and earring were not quite as exciting, but
again, I'm willing to give it a shot. Who knows? Maybe I COULD love a
man with a motorcycle.
My friends responses were a little less
than favorable. They were happy that I was excited, but they all
quickly expressed the higher standard they had set for me, which
included the a fore mentioned “list.” The “list” literally
went a little something like this; he MUST be tall, dark, handsome,
better than average looking, strong, broad, muscular, and funny.
That's about as far as they got before I started interrupting with
questions as to where they got their design plan from.
Hearing their reasoning was equally
flattering and offensive. First of all, tall, dark and handsome
hardly seems imaginative. As if they didn't put any thought into what
was right for me at all. They just spit out something they thought
every girl wants to hear. Here's the problem. Tall. I don't
necessarily have a problem with tall. I have loved my fair share of
over six foot men, however I happen to have an affinity for short
men. The under six footers. Why? I can only speculate that my
attraction goes to the fact that these men often feel they have
something to prove. They can sometimes come across as cocky, but I
try to stick with those that ride the line between confident and
cocky well. I think I just admire that they're trying so hard!
Typically these guys aren't the lazy ones emotionally. They really
try to connect. In my personal experience what shorter men lack in
height they more than make up for in heart. So therefore “tall”
is NOT on my list of needs.
Dark? What does that mean anyway? Is
he ethnic or just really tan? Or does dark refer to his hair and eye
color? Cause again, I prefer light eyes. I mean, if I'm making a
list. Not that I wouldn't date a brown eyed boy, and I've loved my
fair share of those too, but if I had a catalog or something, he'd
probably have blue eyes and dark hair. Handsome? Well, I don't suppose there's any
arguing that point. Of course he should be handsome! That seems like
stating the obvious. Better than average looking is a nice sentiment,
but what exactly makes me worthy of that? I can't say I expect to
marry Patrick Dempsey or Gerard Butler or Daniel Craig or Colin
Firth, who I know is half sexy because of his epic role as Mr. Darcy,
but I just had to include him. Btw, respective heights are as
follows; 5'10, 6'2, 5'10, 6'2. I didn't plan that, but it worked out
nicely. I think I have proven my equal love of men no matter their
height.
Strong? Yes. A man should be strong.
Stronger than me. I'm pretty weak, so that's not a hard role to fill.
Though I look for strength of character and emotional consistency
more than physical feats. However, it should be duly noted that a man
who can scale a 30 foot tent pole with his bare hands, no matter his
ability to bench press my weight is HOT. Yeh...that happened.
Let's see...what's left? Muscular.
Well...I think what I said about strength kind of covers that, but I
will just add that I saw a man in Starbucks today with arms the size
of cantaloupes, and I wondered why any woman would want to be held by
a boa constrictor. But hey...if that's your thing...go for it! Add it
to YOUR list. It's just not on mine. Broad? Hmmm..that sounds nice. I
like a good shoulder to cry on. Again, I don't think it's necessary
to a happy love life, but it could definitely be considered icing on
the cake.
Last but not least, funny. That is the
only thing I totally agree with on my friend's imposed list. My man
needs to make me laugh. A lot. I love any kind of humor really. I'm
not too picky. I like corny jokes, silly slap stick stuff, I love
sarcasm and intelligent humor. I can even laugh at the gross stuff,
though a little goes a long way. Jim Carrey (6'2) every day could get
a little exhausting, but give me Tom Hanks (6'0) forever, or oh my
goodness..Jack Black (5'6) could make me incessantly happy! Humor is
HOT!
So, MY list currently looks a little
like this; single, male, alive, willing, funny. Really...how hard is
that? Sigh...okay...okay it's a little longer than that. I haven't
quite reached “I live in my mother's basement and draw pictures of
comic book characters” guy status just yet. He needs to have a job
and a few other things, but that's all for another post.